Everybody...sit down. Put on the Beatles' "White Album." Listen to "Piggies" and reflect on events this week. Sure, the song was about different things at a different time. But dammit, it just fits, doesn't it?

Have you seen the little piggies ...

Take the news that Enron and WorldCom want tax refunds on their overstated profits of the last few years. That would be the overstated profits at the heart of fraud investigations into both companies. The overstated profits that misled investors and eventually robbed them of their money. The overstated profits that ultimately sabotaged retirements and wrecked lives.

A refund?

Can Tony Soprano start writing off his gun as a business expense too?

Oh, the refunds will go to the beleaguered shareholders, you say? Get real. These companies are bankrupt. That means everyone owed money gets in line. And the fat cats are at the front of the line.

Unfortunately, it looks like Enron and WorldCom (it wants to be called "MCI" now, but its name will always be mud with investors) will succeed. And others, like Healthsouth and Qwest, may pick up on the same tax game.

Crawling in the dirt ...

Which brings up Tyco. The company took a $1 billion charge this week to account for yet more accounting problems. Back in December, the new management suggested they had taken care of the numbers morass left behind by Dennis "Shower Curtain" Kozlowski and his crew. (You remember them, right? Apparently looted the company for millions of bucks; spent wildly on overpriced everyday items. Yeah, them. We're still waiting for a trial).

Guess any investors that listened to the new management back then...shouldn't have. So should you believe Tyco now?

To be fair, Tyco CEO Ed Breen is stuck with quite a mess to clean up. Who should be surprised that he found a little bit more dirt under the carpet than he planned on. And the stock hasn't suffered that much over the past couple of months. Still, it'd be nice to have a statement from that company which turned out to be true.

And for all the little piggies, life is getting worse ...

Of course, we now have a new and improved Wall Street to work with, thanks to NY Attorney General Eliot Spitzer. Never mind that the $1.4 billion extracted from the brokerages that overhyped stocks during the Bubble with biased analysis is merely a slap on the wrist. From now on, stock research from the major brokerages will be insulated from the influence of the investment bankers.

But we're not seeing a whole lot of hand wringing on the part of Wall Street, which makes me think the reforms pushed onto the brokerage sector aren't that serious. If it's that dramatic a change, you'd expect at least a squeak or squeal. Heck, even just a low moan.

Number Nine?

Instead, we get Philip Purcell, the CEO of Morgan Stanley, apparently brushing off the settlement during a talk with reporters. His lack of contrition drew a sharp rebuke from SEC Chairman William Donaldson.

Instead of admonishing Purcell, maybe the chairman needs to look at the severity of the punishment. If you have to tell a kid that "this spanking is serious business," are you really doing it right?

The Beatles had it right ...

What they need's a damn good whacking ...  

Allen Wastler is Managing Editor of CNN/Money and a commentator on CNNfn. He can be e-mailed at allen.wastler@turner.com.