(FORTUNE Magazine) – Hey, there! That's right. You. Don't look now, but I've got hold of a piece of information that's kind of interesting. It has to do with something that somebody is going to do at some point in the near future, and it could have an impact, you know, on a whole bunch of stuff. I'm not saying on what, because it's none of your business. Of course, it wasn't my business either, until I had this information. Now it is my business, because I do have it and you don't, although I'm not about to share it with you, because it's a secret, and I don't share secrets, because while knowledge is power, knowledge of a secret is power plus. It's also a matter of principle, darn it!

So the secret is safe with me. That's the kind of guy I am. Trustworthy. Circumspect. As interesting as it might be, you couldn't pry this thing out of me with Archimedes' lever. I'm not like the guy who told it to me, who is obviously a big leaky bozo.

Yep. The soul of discretion. That's me.

The problem is, a secret is really fun and useful only if you do something with it. I mean, this here secret I've got is so juicy, so tantalizing, so weighty, so much of a pure, high-octane gas, that it seems a shame to let it just sit here like a slab of flank steak on a platter. I think that would be sort of wrong, don't you? Sure, you do.

The question is, then, what is to be done with this information?

I could, of course, stay the course and do nothing with it. I've been told it in confidence, and it's not really mine, you know. I'm just sort of holding it while its status is still in play.

But there are certain aspects of this secret that, if utilized properly, could help the cause of truth, justice, and the American way. That would be good, and to use it suchly and not let it go to waste is almost a sacred responsibility. Contrariwise, this secret, if it falls into the wrong hands, could help evil triumph over good, which is always a bummer.

The point is, while you can't share proprietary information willy-nilly, it's a stupid person who doesn't in some way make the most of the assets that God has given him, and this secret is most certainly one. Besides, the person who shared it with me was told it in confidence too and felt it was right that I be in possession of it.

On the other hand, there's danger in sharing a secret with the wrong party. You may be the wrong party, or at least not the right one. I could let you take a peek under the tent, and you could go and blab the thing or trade on it or completely misuse it in some way. Worst of all, you could tell the guy who told it to me in the first place, and he could know that it was me who let you in on it, and that would make me look like an untrustworthy blabbermouth, which I most certainly am not.

Can you be trusted?

All right, let's say you can--at least as much as I can. Do our interests coincide to the extent that if you get hold of this matter, you will use it the way I want you to? If, for instance, it's an acquisition that might be good for me, will you see it the same way and seek to promote it? Or will it be a threat to you and be something you would oppose? If it's a companywide reorganization, will your outlook on what needs to be defenestrated be the same as mine? If it's a big hire on the 62nd floor, will you use the secret to make sure you're in the right position to suck up first?

In short, are you one of the good guys or not?

All right, let's say you are. Will you stay close to me about it? Consult with me? Take the time to walk carefully among the thorns and brambles? Once I give you a piece of this thing, will I still be able to maintain an acceptable level of control over it with you in the mix? Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

All right, let's say you do. There's still the issue of timing. A good secret needs to steep, to roast, to braise lightly over the fire for a while. Only a doofus of the first order immediately takes a piece of confidential info and hoists it to the next likely party straight off. A secret of this nature must be considered, turned in the hand, treated with respect. Imparted too early, it may be mistreated or overhandled. Too late, on the other hand, and the secret may create nothing but hysteria or confusion, or simply become too explosive to share. Is this the right moment for disclosure?

All right, let's say it is. I guess there's only one question left to ask: Do you have anything to trade in return? If you do, I'd like to hear about it first, or at least get some assurance that you're ready to show me yours after I show you mine. If you don't, a simple "I owe you" will suffice. Are you willing to offer one?

All right, let's say you will. That's good. I suppose the time has come, then. And to tell you the truth, I'm glad. It's damn hard to keep a secret, you know? It's going to feel mighty good easing the load a little bit. I think once you hear it, you'll see it was worth it. I think you'll agree that this is mighty great. So sit back. Listen up. This is going to blow your mind!

Stanley Bing is the author of the forthcoming novel You Look Nice Today (Bloomsbury). He can be reached at stanleybing@aol.com.