(FORTUNE Small Business) – In other circumstances, it might very well be flattering. But when a purchasing agent tells me that his company wants to "partner" with ours, by now I've learned what he really means. He wants us to turn over our intellectual property, submit to countless supplier audits, and drop our prices 20%. Then, if we are lucky, we can hold on to the business we already have from him. I remember one such agent, fresh on the scene at one of our customers' after a stint with Nestlé, who told us that the time had come to partner with us--even though we had been his employer's major supplier for 20 years. When we wouldn't offer prices below our cost, he handed the business to a company with no history in our market. Did I feel betrayed? That is an understatement.

These days, with everybody under rising pressure to cut costs, I would expect our customers to be unfurling these phony "partnerships" with frightening regularity. But lately I'm sensing a new attitude among them. Sure, they still want our lowest price, but they act as if they've gained a new appreciation for us. And I don't think it is my sunny disposition that has finally won them over. Instead, I believe that so many of my company's competitors have gone out of business or exited the market--done in by price wars--that there just aren't enough of us suppliers left for customers to beat up. Moreover, many buyers tell stories of how they've been burned by companies that promise low, low prices and then fail to deliver adequate quality and service. It is more important to ensure the quality of the supply, the new thinking seems to be, than it is to sign on with some fly-by-night type.

I'm not saying that purchasing agents have gone soft. At the end of last year, I found our family-owned plastic bag company embroiled in three bids at once. (I will never feel the same way about the holiday season again.) Yet in each case, the purchasing agents understood that because of rising commodity costs--the price of plastic has soared more than 50% in the past year--we would be raising prices. Our customers fought to lower those increases, but each accepted hikes high enough to cover our escalating raw-material cost.

That is close, but it's not a full partnership. I know that because I am actually part of one. Recently one penny-pinching customer, aware that we were planning to boost prices, called me in to discuss alternatives. What could his company do, the general manager inquired, to sidestep price increases? We have done business with the firm for more than a decade and have the unusual distinction of being its only packaging supplier. Certainly the customer could have saved money by putting its business out to bid. But the general manager made it clear that he knew we offered other benefits: We deliver a high-quality product on time. And we work hard to ensure that the customer never runs out of product.

So we crafted a plan that satisfied both sides. We found a way to make his plastic slightly thinner, thereby cutting the pounds needed to make his product. This netted him a 3% savings and cost us nothing. Then he showed us just how serious he was. Because our cash was already tied up in inventory we were stockpiling to stave off increases, he ponied up more than $100,000 so that we could purchase a railcar of plastic to make material for him. That supply should last at least three months, saving him $20,000 and sparing him a couple of price increases.

I don't expect many customers to emulate that behavior. It takes a lot of imagination on everybody's part to come up with an arrangement that serves both parties, and for most companies that's too much work. But I do find the episode instructive. As for that 20-year customer that moved its business to chase after a lower price? It reappeared two years later, complaining about that supplier's spotty deliveries, low quality, and eye-popping price increases. Our old customer's management said it was ready for a "partnership" with us. "Sure you are," I thought, figuring that I knew what they really wanted. But you know what? This time, much to my delight, the company actually meant it.