(FORTUNE Magazine) – Here's to you, glorious FORTUNE 500! The ways of your excellence cannot be numbered! So once a year, here at this fine periodical, We take a brief pause from the tough and quixotical To bow and exalt you, your sons, and your daughters, Starting with No. 1, General Motors, And ending, in reverence, down on our knee, Before No. 500--chip dudes AMD! Enough introduction! Let's begin our ode To capitalism's mother lode! With revenues in the billions and billions! We sneeze on your piddling hundreds of millions! You'll need more than seven, or even eight zeros To make it into the room with these heroes. First, lest anyone think that we're out of our gourd, Let's toast No. 2--the great Henry Ford, Who clearly has earned a candle that's votive For creating the industry automotive. How splendid! Enormous! Productive and global! With fuel from giants like Exxon and Mobil (Spots three and eight in the roster noble). Chrysler in at No. 9. That's fine. Have the raiders gone for good this time? Plus Texaco! Amoco! Goodyear Tire & Rubber! That's one humongous sector, Bubba. And telecommunications giant AT&T Will get no argument from me. Even if it does come after Wal-Mart, Where quality and value is the hallmart. Here at No. 6, what a pleasant surpriser; IBM, beaten and bloodied--but wiser-- With a growth rate of more than ten points per annum. In this competitive climate? That's pretty uncannum. There's GE! Gee! What can be said about you? You're great! It's true! And whatever we might think of Philip Morris, They're here too, of course. Let's smoke our brains out till we're hoarse! And that's the top ten! Congratulations! Honor! Joy! Felicitations! Near a trillion bucks in gross sales, brother. If this nation collapsed, they could fund another. But our august Half-Thousand are so much more. Large. In charge. With guts galore. The Prudential is here, the rock actuarial, Then State Farm, just waiting to pay for your burial. On Sears! Kmart! On Kroger and Boeing! Wherever you're headed, that's where we're going! That is, if you'll let us. Across the nation This year saw untold decapitation. Head count was severed. Bodies got lean. 'Twas one of the bloodiest we've ever seen. Out blubber! Out excess! Cut the flabby and fungible! Have you met our vice president--Attila the Hungible? But enough with the nattering negative vibes! Ours is to praise, not to offer cheap gibes. So rah, we say, huzzah, O great Dayton Hudson! And PriceCostco--your stores offer nary a dud, son, Since these days, we find, often and oftener, One needs 80 pounds of fabric softener. And on they roll, onward! And each we extola-- BellSouth! Sara Lee! The great Coca-Cola! (Which, in case you didn't know, Has about half the assets of PepsiCo.) There's DEC, not to mention Bristol-Myers Squibb. Just thinking about them--we need a bib! How about Sprint, which outranks Anheuser-Busch, Isn't that a kick in the tusch? And what's Disney doing at niche 102? Wouldn't you think they'd be higher? You do? Then there are the X's, tough and frictive CSX! USX! That X! It's addictive! Not to mention the forces of Uni-Bliss-- UPS, Unocal, Unisys. And at 163, happy days! It's Time Warner, Sitting up tall, like little Jack Horner Excitedly waiting--it's such a quick learner!-- To stick in its thumb and pull out Ted Turner. And incredibly, down at 219, It's Microsoft, perched at the Gates of the dream. So far yet to climb! So much still to go! (Still smaller than Westinghouse, you know.) The names ramble on, the revenues smaller, But still living shrines to the almighty dollar. Here's TCI! Bethlehem! Call out your schnauzer! We need a rhyme for Weyerhaeuser! Enough. No more. Except to affirm That there is life beyond the conquering worm. Beyond No. 500, where few analysts go, There is growth, there is hope, there is still lots of dough. New York Times! B.F. Goodrich! Fruit of the Loom! The American dream will always have room! These have been just a few Who this year made us quiver. Some are old. Some are new. None are chopped liver. Give them a hand! Lend them your ear! Take them to lunch! Buy them a beer! Hope they're here, one and all, When we see you next year! By day, STANLEY BING is a real executive at a FORTUNE 500 company mentioned in his poem.