(FORTUNE Magazine) – Want to own a piece of the NBA--right in time for the playoffs? Well, actually, it's just the Boston Celtics that are available. True, the once-dynastic team of Bird, McHale, and Parish didn't make the post-season this year (its record was a bleak 35-47), but the Celts are also the only publicly traded basketball franchise around. The stock, which trades in "units" instead of shares, raised $40 million at its 1986 IPO, but few investors--institutional or otherwise--have grabbed for the ball since then. Most of the holders are money-management firms keeping the units as souvenirs for Celtic-loving clients. "It's funny, we're one of the largest investors in the public stock," says Norman Wilson, head of the three-employee Asset Advisors in Augusta, Ga., whose firm holds 2,000 units. Bear Stearns, by comparison, has a 20-unit stake. U.S. Trust owns five.

So how have their investments fared? Let's just say the action hasn't been fantastic. Like Shaq's free throws, BOS stock consistently and remarkably misses the mark. Though it did go as high as $28 in 1997, it now hovers at around $9. Over the past year, the stock is down 18.5%, and over five years, it's off 53.3%--the sort of performance, in other words, that would make Bobby Knight throw chairs.

"We're always looking for ways to maximize revenue," says Celtics CFO Richard Pond. But these far-flung team owners don't seem to care. What they really want, of course, is to send in final-second strategies and influence the draft picks. Unfortunately, this is nonvoting stock we are talking about. They'd have more influence screaming in the stands.

--Angela Key