(FORTUNE Magazine) – The new rules

Doing business on the course isn't always pretty. Suzanne Koudsi found longtime golfers who have learned from their experiences (and who want to remain anonymous).

Never lose on purpose.

"I was playing in a foursome with a banker friend of mine and a prospective client of both of ours. I'm an average golfer and so is the banker, and the prospect and his guest were worse than we were. But we were playing really well, and we realized that these guys didn't like to lose--so my friend pulled me aside and said, 'Let's tone it down.' A week after the game, which we had purposely lost, I got a call from the banker. The client told him he wasn't a good enough pressure player, so therefore he didn't think the banker had the steel nerves to handle his investments. We both lost out on the account."

For your sense of experiment:

The theory is this: When you hit off a wooden tee, the interaction between ball and tee causes spin. Because bristle-topped Brush-Ts offer virtually no resistance, there's less spin or deflection, resulting in a longer, more precise drive. Shown here with the new Staff True ball--which Wilson claims is the first perfectly balanced golf ball--Brush-Ts come in three sizes (driver, oversized driver, three wood) and can be customized for corporate outings. $4.95 for three; 877-893-2787; www.brusht.com

Boondoggle No. 1

The must-play golf course buzz has been Bandon Dunes...Bandon Dunes...Bandon Dunes....ever since its 1999 opening. Last summer that buzz expanded to nearby Pacific Dunes ...Pacific Dunes.... So now you can drive along Oregon's stunning coast and experience David McKlay Kidd's original 18-hole masterpiece, as well as Tom Doak's significant other. Two perfect purist layouts, one lodge, and a golf world all your own. It's the closest to Scotland you'll get in a five-digit zip. The Lodge at Bandon Dunes Golf Resort; doubles from $150; 888-345-6008; www.bandondunes.com

For your sense of humor:

Picture the woofing head of a German shepherd or rottweiler atop your latest uber-titanium stick, and you've pretty much got Gazelle's Bag Barker. Motion-activated, it barks when a hand comes near. Perfect as a watchdog when you leave your bag at the drop, or to just plain annoy your buddies. $20; 888-442-0355; www.golfinstuff.com

For your ego:

Distance matters. That's why the average golfer replaces his driver about every 18 months. The Nike Forged-Titanium Driver is hotter than Georgia asphalt, as sexy as an icy-cold one in July, and now in the bags of Tiger and David. Need we say more? In three club-head sizes with myriad lofts and shaft options. $400; www.nikegolf.com

Know when to take a hit.

"I had just moved to Utah and was working as a sales rep for a semiconductor distributor. I was calling on a new client, named Rob, when we decided to play at Park Meadows. Rob was on his second shot--a dogleg left. I was sitting in the golf cart about 45 degrees to his right. Suddenly I heard him exclaim, and I turned my head to see what had happened. The ball was coming straight for me. It hit me in the temple and peeled a chunk of my scalp and hair off before it rolled into a sand trap. As I slumped down, Rob came running over screaming, 'God, I killed him!' Once everyone realized I wasn't dead, just dizzy, we put the ball, still covered in hair and a piece of my scalp, in the cart while we finished the round. The next time I saw Rob, he joked about buying me a helmet. I considered this a somewhat fortunate event because the guy would never again think of me as just another sales rep."

Boondoggle No. 2

St. Andrews, the Old Course...yadda, yadda, yadda. It's a pilgrimage you must make, but the reasons to stay have multiplied since Tiger Woods took that long walk in 2000. Three new seaside courses have popped up--the already renowned Kingsbarns, as well as Devlin and Torrance at St. Andrews Bay. Bunk at the St. Andrews Bay Manor Homes (011-44-1334/837-000; www.standrewsbay.com): freestanding residences with four bedrooms, opulent baths, and individual business centers. Or, for over-the-top bragging rights, rent out the fully staffed 14th-century Myres Castle (888-989-1768; www.myres.co.uk) for you and 18 others. Better yet, have PerryGolf arrange the trip--it has more tee times at St. Andrews than anybody on this side of the pond, as well as custom-made Mercedes coaches to shuttle you around. Basic five-night packages for Myres Castle start at $2,500 a night (800-344-5257; www.perrygolf.com).

For your back:

The Sun Mountain Speed Cart will make perfect sense to anyone who's ever maneuvered a baby stroller. In short, it's much easier to push than pull. Plus, the Speed Cart is lightweight (14 pounds), folds easily for trunk storage, and has three (as opposed to the usual two) heavy-duty tires--so it's sturdy as all get out. This year Sun Mountain has added a little brake for extra control. $228; 800-227-9224; www.sunmountain.com

When betting, never lose sight of the stakes.

"My company was looking for financing, and talking to a big Japanese firm. They sent over the CEO and the president, and we took them to the Inn at Spanish Bay to play Spyglass Hill. We spend thousands on the hotel, then make a $2 bet. At one point, their CEO hits his tee shot into the water. The rules are you take a stroke and try again--which he does, landing it right near the hole. 'I have a par!' he says. 'No,' says our attorney, 'you have a four.' Here we are trying to get a $10 billion deal, and all our attorney can think about is the $2 bet."

Boondoggle No. 3

Wall Street billionaire Julian Robertson built Kauri Cliffs, a remote, lush getaway on more than 5,000 acres at the northern tip of New Zealand. Fifteen of the course's 18 holes overlook the Pacific, with six along seaside cliffs. Three private beaches, tennis courts, spectacular walking trails, and a gym are also available for visitors who want to do more than sit on the veranda and stare (doubles start at $210; 011-64-9-405-1905; www.kauricliffs.com). And because you've come this far, why not let Australia New Zealand Golf help you see the rest of this amazing country? (800-622-6606; www.golfaustralianewzealand.com)

Match the client with the course.

"I was playing on Cape Cod with a colleague and a prospective client. The client showed up wearing a totally inappropriate outfit--shorts and a tennis shirt with no collar. My colleague, a member at the club, said, 'He can't play in that. What are you going to do?' Since it was cold out, we thought that if we got him in the pro shop we could subtly suggest he buy a pair of pants. But our plan backfired. 'You're going to have to tell your guest to change,' announced the clerk. To make things worse, the club didn't accept cash, so my colleague had to pay for the shirt and pants."

For your score:

It's the putter, stupid. Read any account of tournament golf and you'll see that the vanquished has always had difficulty rolling the stone. The Henry-Griffitts Fit2Aim Putter is what Q would have made for 007 if he had had the technology. First, a Henry-Griffitts fitting specialist observes your stroke and, with help from a laser, determines how you line up a putt. Taking into account your specific stroke and your line of vision--most people aim right or left--he then chooses from an exponential option of parts (hosel design, hosel lie angle, club head design, line configuration, and shaft length). It takes about an hour. Your specs are sent to a manufacturing plant in Idaho and voila, your putter arrives within 12 working days. The included follow-up fitting/lesson is a must. $170 to $1,200; 800-446-0036; www.henrygriffitts.com

For your feet:

Last year the one-piece, slip-on golf shoe made its mark. This year Dexter has kicked its version, the GolfMoc, up a notch with a cool sandal design. Dexter SandalMocs have an air-mesh upper so they're breathable, come with two adjustable Velcro straps, and are much classier than those Teva look-alikes. $80; 888-833-9837; www.dextershoe.com

Know when to call it a day.

"I'm a lawyer, and my partner and I took a couple of clients to Las Vegas. I was definitely the worst golfer. The eleventh hole was a long par four, straight ahead, and to the left was a roadway. I hooked one and we heard this loud bang. We had no idea what the ball hit. Two holes later, we saw this cart driving wildly toward us. In it was a course official and a guy in full clown regalia. I figured we must be the one millionth golfer on this course and they were going to give us a free dinner or something. Instead, the club official got out and said, 'This clown claims that you completely smashed the windshield of his car.' We went back and forth about it and the whole time the clown remained in the cart. 'I don't really know what to do with this guy,' said the official. 'We've got one real unhappy clown here.' He and the clown had a little conference. He came back and said, 'If there are any more problems we'll contact you.' Our clients were in hysterics. We couldn't even finish the game."

For your time management:

Sergio Garcia swears by the Putterball, an addictive training aid. The idea is simple: Because the club head is a sphere, you have to hit the ball perfectly, or it will veer off. So in a few minutes a day--during a conference call, say--you can refine your stroke. $60; 800-272-4325; www.theputterball.com

For your kids:

The clever SNAG Golf game is a fantastic way to get your kids interested in the sport without the typical frustration. Two lightweight clubs with oversized heads--a launcher for drives, pitches, and chips, and a roller for putts--are used to propel Velcro tennis balls. Set up the wide, Velcro-based "flagsticky" in your yard and start teaching the fundamentals. An accompanying video gets you acquainted with the system; golf pro (and co-creator) Wally Armstrong offers idiot-proof instructions in grip, setup, and swing. Starter Pack, $120 (other items and aids are sold separately); 866-762-4465; www.snaggolf.com

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