(FORTUNE Magazine) – 1 Antiboredom month kicks off with two parties: Canada Day for our northerly neighbors and Hong Kong Special Administrative Region Establishment Day. Go wild. No one works in July anyway.

2 If only Fidel Castro's four-hour diatribes could be used for something.... The World Wind-Energy Conference and Exhibition blows into Berlin. Converting communist gasbags into capitalist solutions may soon be a reality.

3 The dog days start here. Deal with it by watching Will Smith play Will Smith in Men in Black II. Or admire Coach's two-for-one stock split. Or check local listings for PBS's Great Projects. Big construction is always fun.

4 What's more American than a cheesy car show with live bands? Celebrate our independence at Americana International in, well, Nottingham, England. Then tip your July birthday hat to George Steinbrenner and Leona Helmsley (the 4th), Yahoo's Tim Koogle (the 5th), ABC's Roone Arledge (the 8th), Sony's Tommy Mottola (the 14th), Virgin's Richard Branson (the 18th), Senate hopeful Elizabeth Dole (the 29th), H&R Block's Henry Bloch (the 30th), and Milton Friedman and Paramount's Sherry Lansing (the 31st).

6/7 It's the best weekend in July, and it's booked. In Seattle wee techlings and grungies float their boats at the Seafair Milk Carton Derby. Even the military joins in. Spokesman Ryan Ingalls claims that "there isn't a real front-runner," but the smart money is on the Coast Guard, with the Navy to place. Meanwhile, Lance Armstrong pedals off from Luxembourg for a four-peat attempt in the Tour de France. Sunday, in Telluride, Colo., try for $250,000 at the Subaru Primal Quest extreme-sport competition. Or just watch others turn themselves into roadkill. Speaking of which: Anyone en Espana should head over to Pamplona for the running of the bulls. We're right behind ya.

8 If you're tripping over emaciated women and men too sexy for their shirts, you must be in Paris for the fall haute couture. Do try to amuse yourself: Find a gaggle of fashion mag editors and play Spot the Botox.

9 Labor Secretary Elaine Chao hits Workforce Innovation 2002 in Nashville to discuss how business can "support the American work force." Money always talks, Elaine. Baseball's All-Stars play in Milwaukee.

10 Sometime this month old-boy world leaders and business tycoons gather at Bohemian Grove in Sonoma County, Calif., to dress in drag and play in the woods. Women aren't invited, not that we don't have better things to do anyway.

11 The American Institute of CPAs meets at Bellagio in Vegas. They would go to see Cirque du Soleil's O, but the $110 tickets aren't worth filing as entertainment expenses on their Schedule C's, since they'd get only 50% off.

12 If we could turn back time: Choosing between the Cher convention in Vegas and Microsoft Fusion in L.A. just hurts everyone in the end.

15 Macworld returns to New York City, none too soon. In San Francisco last year, 15 fans slept outside awaiting Steve Jobs' keynote. Says spokesman Rob Halpin: "I guess they were kind of cultish."

16 We called to inquire about the International Network Conference in Plymouth, England, and they're like, "We don't want to buy any ads." So we're all, "But this is free, and it's FORTUNE magazine." And they're like, "Yes, that's very kind, but we're not interested." So then we go, "Lady, you don't get it. We're, like, a major business magazine." And then they hung up. Whatever. We'll have to make do with the fact that GM, Johnson & Johnson, Washington Mutual, and Mellon Financial announce earnings.

17 IASTED holds its Artificial Intelligence and Soft Computing Conference in Banff, Alberta. Plus: June housing starts released.

18 The British Open swings again. Appropriately, Callaway Golf reports earnings. Less appropriately, so do Delta and Northwest Airlines, DaimlerChrysler, Gateway, Nokia, and Owens Corning.

19 In what offers the most delicious setup of a You Might Be a Redneck joke that we can remember, the Harley-Davidson H.O.G. Rally and Centenary Road Show, starting in Atlanta, overlaps with the International Lawn, Garden, and Power Equipment Exhibition in Louisville. Choose carefully: Hogs on the highway, or the Walker Mowers Precision Obstacle Course? Nobody said life was fair.

22 It's so self-aware, it's a meta-convention. TS[2] 2002 in Chicago is the trade show about trade shows. Hard-hitting sessions include Bright Ideas in Trade Show Lighting and Your Booth & Safety. Also, Hasbro reports.

24 Reebok, Prudential, McDonald's, Du Pont, and Siemens announce earnings. A handy acronym to help you remember: Republican Presidents Make Dollars and Sense.

25 Robert Mondavi reports. The Mondavis gave $35 million to the University of California at Davis to create an Institute for Wine and Food Science. Mondavi: Enhancing the college drinking experience.

26 Yeah, baby! Austin Powers is back in Goldmember. At $2.8 million and about $200,000, respectively, Fat Bastard and Mini-Me prove themselves worth their weight in gold.

27/28 On Saturday, San Francisco bravely sacrifices itself for the rest of us as it hosts the National Bar Association convention. Farther west, in Waikiki, Hawaii, is Sunday's Ukulele Festival. Roy Sakuma always puts on a good show, and nothing beats poi in July.

29 Smart people focus on the developing world at FORTUNE's Brainstorm 2002--in Aspen, of all places. King Abdullah of Jordan and actress Elisabeth Shue solve global warming over s'mores.

30 Sotheby's and Stack's auction the 1933 double eagle in New York. The most valuable gold coin in the world, the $20 eagle is also the most elusive. The little sucker slipped out of the feds' hands twice before turning up at the Waldorf-Astoria in '96. With a little help from eBay, even you can bid on it--provided you have $4 million to $6 million and a $20 check for the U.S. Mint. It may be the most acute example of inflation in history.

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