(FORTUNE Magazine) – 1/2 The crunch of leaves says November. New Yorkers run their marathon. The peachy new $20 bills are in the spend cycle. And there are 53 shopping days until Christmas. Let the rampant holiday commercialization begin!

3 Kellogg and Principal Financial Group report earnings. The SATCON conference on satellite technology beams into New York City. As long as there are no sunspots or data overloads and the darned things stay in orbit, all should go swimmingly.

4 If you're in Cali, drive on over to wish Disney's ABC Cable chief Anne Sweeney a happy 46th birthday. Call first. Other candle blowers: Playboy boss Christie Hefner (the 8th); shower-curtain aficionado Dennis Kozlowski (the 16th); semiretirees Ted Turner and Jack Welch (the 19th); Sony head Nobuyuki Idei (the 21st); and the steely Wilbur Ross (the 28th). In actual news, Gillette, Clear Channel, and Koz's ex, Tyco, do earnings. The rest of us hold out for tomorrow's The Matrix Revolutions.

6 Archer Daniels Midland and JDS Uniphase host annual meetings in Decatur, Ill., and San Jose, respectively; Chicago welcomes the Design Show; and the American Evaluation Association hosts Evaluation: 2003 in Reno. We give it a B+.

7 Don't mess with Texas. Especially not while Sysco chats with shareholders in Houston and the North American Tech Festival attracts 100,000 visitors in Dallas. With those concealed-arms laws, it was never a good idea anyway.

8/9 Miami Beach gets a new 'do from the American Association of Cosmetology Schools, while in Louisville, cattlemen try to put some lipstick on those pigs at the Livestock Expo. These events are unrelated.

10 AICPA gathers in D.C. Topic: Highlights of the 2003 Tax Act. Wake us up when the topic is highlights of last night's episode of The Office. It's exactly like your workplace. Except British. And funny.

11 Veterans Day. It's the battle of the network stars! Cisco (market cap: $143 billion) holds its annual meeting in San Jose, while Microsoft ($313 billion) checks in with shareholders in Bellevue, Wash. Snacks are provided. Clothiers come out of the closet. J.C. Penney, May Department Stores, and Lee announce earnings. If all this is rather too tedious for you, get thee to Shanghai for the Tenth China Metals conference. Part I is the Spotlight on Copper. Part II? Aluminum!

12 The Wall Street & Technology Half-Day Forum on Customer Relationship Management gets underway in New York City. Federated and Applied Materials announce earnings. America dozes off.

13 Starbucks does earnings. Sun holds its annual meeting in Santa Clara, Calif., on Scott McNealy's birthday. In the 2003 fiscal year, Sun lost $3.4 billion. Happy birthday, Scott.

14 Letitia Baldridge minds our p's and q's with New Manners for New Times while Paul Newman and A.E. Hochner dish on the Newman's Own story in Shameless Exploitation. Saucy!

15/16 This Sunday there's no place hotter than Phoenix. Top-title executives gather for the CEO Summit at the Arizona Biltmore (where a view from the cheap suites will set you back $650). If your name doesn't end in CEO, COO, or president, don't bother. Except you CFOs. The concurrent conference for financial types gets to share keynoters Jack Welch and Virgin's Richard Branson. Activities: golf and skeet shooting. Dress: business casual. Women: optional.

17 Marketers meet in South Beach, Fla., for the Future Trends conference on identifying trends to drive sales. If reality TV is any indication, lying, nudity, and unabashed greed are all trends. Consider that a freebie.

19 Clorox greets shareholders in Oakland, and Restoration Hardware releases earnings.... Insecure security analysts work on public-speaking skills at a one-day course in New York City. Just don't talk to anyone on the way.

20 More earnings! Barnes & Noble, Foot Locker, Gap, and Nordstrom announce. They're all places you can't light up. Coincidence? It's the Great American Smokeout. Don't even think it. The editors here don't allow "butt" jokes.

21 Mike Myers's Cat in the Hat and Halle Berry's Gothika duke it out at the cineplex. Teenage boys accept the convergence as proof of the existence of God.

24 The Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation hosts its annual gala A Magical Evening to benefit spinal-cord injury treatment, in New York City. Your $750 ticket gets you rubber chicken, celebrity sightings, and peace of mind.

25 Filed under Things Could Be Worse: In 1996 the Dow crossed 6500 for the first time. Lately it has hovered around 9700.... H.J. Heinz announces earnings. Among its 57 varieties, Polly Mi Chicha, a Venezuelan drink mix.

26 For those of us who missed the Fed's Beige Book last month, the book is back and relief is here! And it proves someone is working the day before the holiday. Just not us.

27 Happy Thanksgiving! Turkey Day comes late this year, so if you're planning to pack on those holiday pounds in time for New Year's resolutions, you're way behind schedule. We suggest carbs.

28 Retail America thanks you in advance for braving the traffic in the parking lots and the madness in the malls to make this the biggest shopping day of the year. Work those tax credits!

29/30 FORTUNE editor Peter Petre reminds you that November is not too late to ensure your health and get a flu shot. FORTUNE cares about you. Well, Peter does, anyway.