'Should I pay for my boyfriend's insurance?'

A women with an independent streak wants to avoid financial complications.

By Jeanne Fleming, PH.D., and Leonard Schwarz

NEW YORK (Money) -- Question: My boyfriend and I have lived together for 10 years (no kids), and we get along fine. Recently he found out I can add him to the health insurance I get from the company I work for part-time. He wants me to do this to save him money, but I don't want to.

He owns our house and earns 10 times more than I do, and it's hard enough for me to feel independent without adding more entanglements. Am I wrong to say no?

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Money Magazine's ethicists are consultants who advise attorneys on people's ethical beliefs. E-mail them at right_thing@moneymail.com.

Answer: Rumor has it that Melinda Gates is in the same uncomfortable position vis a vis Bill, but they've figured out a way to make things work.

Seriously, any couple that's been together for 10 years is entangled. Of course this doesn't mean that you have to do whatever your boyfriend wants. But it does mean honoring his requests, when they're in bounds. And asking to be added to your health insurance policy strikes us as a reasonable request coming, as it does, from someone who's been providing you with a home.

That said, we applaud your wish to feel independent in your relationship. But refusing to do a favor for the person you depend on financially isn't asserting your independence. It's taking out your frustration on your benefactor.

Ultimately, you're faced with two choices here: earn enough to be genuinely independent or accept the fact that you aren't. What you can't do, however, is take the position that your independence is compromised by the "entanglements" that benefit your partner (like the health insurance), but not by the ones that benefit you (like living rent-free).

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Most stock quote data provided by BATS. Market indices are shown in real time, except for the DJIA, which is delayed by two minutes. All times are ET. Disclaimer. Morningstar: © 2018 Morningstar, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Factset: FactSet Research Systems Inc. 2018. All rights reserved. Chicago Mercantile Association: Certain market data is the property of Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved. Dow Jones: The Dow Jones branded indices are proprietary to and are calculated, distributed and marketed by DJI Opco, a subsidiary of S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC and have been licensed for use to S&P Opco, LLC and CNN. Standard & Poor's and S&P are registered trademarks of Standard & Poor's Financial Services LLC and Dow Jones is a registered trademark of Dow Jones Trademark Holdings LLC. All content of the Dow Jones branded indices © S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC 2018 and/or its affiliates.