'Should I pay for my boyfriend's insurance?'
A women with an independent streak wants to avoid financial complications.
NEW YORK (Money) -- Question: My boyfriend and I have lived together for 10 years (no kids), and we get along fine. Recently he found out I can add him to the health insurance I get from the company I work for part-time. He wants me to do this to save him money, but I don't want to.
He owns our house and earns 10 times more than I do, and it's hard enough for me to feel independent without adding more entanglements. Am I wrong to say no?
Answer: Rumor has it that Melinda Gates is in the same uncomfortable position vis a vis Bill, but they've figured out a way to make things work.
Seriously, any couple that's been together for 10 years is entangled. Of course this doesn't mean that you have to do whatever your boyfriend wants. But it does mean honoring his requests, when they're in bounds. And asking to be added to your health insurance policy strikes us as a reasonable request coming, as it does, from someone who's been providing you with a home.
That said, we applaud your wish to feel independent in your relationship. But refusing to do a favor for the person you depend on financially isn't asserting your independence. It's taking out your frustration on your benefactor.
Ultimately, you're faced with two choices here: earn enough to be genuinely independent or accept the fact that you aren't. What you can't do, however, is take the position that your independence is compromised by the "entanglements" that benefit your partner (like the health insurance), but not by the ones that benefit you (like living rent-free).
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