Helping out an unemployed neighbor



NEW YORK (Money magazine) -- Money magazine readers answer your financial etiquette questions.

Question: Some of our neighbors have been hit hard by the downturn. We often have get-togethers where we take turns cooking for each other. Should we pay for more of the food costs, since we can? -- Name withheld

The readers say

No. You are assuming that your neighbors are in a weaker financial position than you, and you run the risk of hurting their pride. If your friends are strapped for cash, they will figure out a way to opt out of these get-togethers or reduce their own spending somehow. -- Brian M. Fraley, Morgantown, Pa.

Yes. Find ways to surreptitiously take over some of the expenses, whether you do more of the hosting or slip a gift certificate for the supermarket into someone's mailbox. If people protest, let them know you'll be happy to celebrate when things are going well again. -- Julie Gervais, Ferndale, Mich.

Your generosity in this case may not be well received. Gently drop a hint about putting the tradition on hiatus for a while. If your neighbors don't agree, you have your answer. -- Brian D. Jaffe, New York City

You should always supply the costliest items: the main course and adult beverages. Say something like, "I have a new recipe for -- (lobster, margaritas) that I have been dying to try." -- Mary Mussoline Rogers, Coral Springs, Fla.

The expert says

You aren't obligated to foot the bill for your neighbors, since you've already decided as a group how everyone should contribute, says Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of Protocol School of Palm Beach. But if you want to chip in extra, bring a batch of brownies or second bottle of wine instead of offering cash. "That's a less obvious way to spend more," says Whitmore.  To top of page

Just the hot list include
Frontline troops push for solar energy
The U.S. Marines are testing renewable energy technologies like solar to reduce costs and casualties associated with fossil fuels. Play
25 Best Places to find rich singles
Looking for Mr. or Ms. Moneybags? Hunt down the perfect mate in these wealthy cities, which are brimming with unattached professionals. More
Fun festivals: Twins to mustard to pirates!
You'll see double in Twinsburg, Ohio, and Ketchup lovers should beware in Middleton, WI. Here's some of the best and strangest town festivals. Play
Overnight Avg Rate Latest Change Last Week
30 yr fixed3.80%3.88%
15 yr fixed3.20%3.23%
5/1 ARM3.84%3.88%
30 yr refi3.82%3.93%
15 yr refi3.20%3.23%
Rate data provided
by Bankrate.com
View rates in your area
 
Find personalized rates:
Index Last Change % Change
Dow 32,627.97 -234.33 -0.71%
Nasdaq 13,215.24 99.07 0.76%
S&P 500 3,913.10 -2.36 -0.06%
Treasuries 1.73 0.00 0.12%
Data as of 6:29am ET
Company Price Change % Change
Ford Motor Co 8.29 0.05 0.61%
Advanced Micro Devic... 54.59 0.70 1.30%
Cisco Systems Inc 47.49 -2.44 -4.89%
General Electric Co 13.00 -0.16 -1.22%
Kraft Heinz Co 27.84 -2.20 -7.32%
Data as of 2:44pm ET

Sections

Bankrupt toy retailer tells bankruptcy court it is looking at possibly reviving the Toys 'R' Us and Babies 'R' Us brands. More

Land O'Lakes CEO Beth Ford charts her career path, from her first job to becoming the first openly gay CEO at a Fortune 500 company in an interview with CNN's Boss Files. More

Most stock quote data provided by BATS. Market indices are shown in real time, except for the DJIA, which is delayed by two minutes. All times are ET. Disclaimer. Morningstar: © 2018 Morningstar, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Factset: FactSet Research Systems Inc. 2018. All rights reserved. Chicago Mercantile Association: Certain market data is the property of Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved. Dow Jones: The Dow Jones branded indices are proprietary to and are calculated, distributed and marketed by DJI Opco, a subsidiary of S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC and have been licensed for use to S&P Opco, LLC and CNN. Standard & Poor's and S&P are registered trademarks of Standard & Poor's Financial Services LLC and Dow Jones is a registered trademark of Dow Jones Trademark Holdings LLC. All content of the Dow Jones branded indices © S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC 2018 and/or its affiliates.