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Stanley Bing
Just a few ways to be profitably and pleasantly (if uselessly) employed, from Stanley Bing's book, "100 Bulls**t Jobs and How to Get Them" (Harper Collins).
Personal trainer
Famous example: Richard Simmons
Personal trainer
Build average humans into gorgeous beasts, have sex with as many as you like, marry some of them for brief periods of time.

$$: $35,000 per annum. But what's the meaning of money when part of your job is holding J. Lo's foot while she tries to work out her upper thigh?

The upside: Lookin' great, eating like a champ, swinging high and hard and loose? What a gig!

The downside: The San Francisco Chronicle does a huge exposé revealing that the special additive you've been giving to your customers is, in fact, anabolic steroid. You go to jail and your clients are disgraced, in addition to having tiny, shrunken testicles.

The dark side: You are an overexercised monster, both bulgy and stringy at the same time, your body is aging, and so are the poor, hyperstressed clients you tend to; you wake up one morning, and God, you're tired.
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