Isn't it their turn to pick up the check?

Question: My father, who was a very successful writer, died recently. According to his will, $2 million is to be placed in trust for his four grandchildren, two of whom are my sons.

According to the terms of the trust, each grandchild will receive a quarter of the trust at age 25, provided he or she earned a college degree and never attended a private school or college. To me, this second restriction seems very unfair. My older son has a good chance of being admitted to an Ivy League college. As much as I loved my father, I don't see why Jon should pass up the opportunity to get that kind of education.

So here's my plan: My sister and I are the trustees of the trust my father established, and she has two kids who have the potential to be admitted to good colleges as well. I think that she and I should make a pact to give each child their quarter of my father's estate when they turn 25 regardless of where they went to college. I know what I'm proposing is not completely aboveboard. But I think it's fairer than Dad's will, and my real concern is to do right by my children. What do you think?

Answer: We think the $2 million was your father's to do with as he wished, not as you wish. To subvert his will as you propose would be dishonorable - doubly so since, in appointing you and your sister trustees, he counted on you to carry out his wishes. If you're not prepared to do so, you should resign as trustee. Not that we share your father's philosophy. But he's entitled to his opinion and entitled to have it reflected in his will.

Still intent on subverting the trust? Then think of the lesson you'll be teaching your children if you go forward, namely: If a disagreeable hurdle stands before you in life, see if you can't sneak around it. Come on. You can do better than that.

Test your ethics:
1. If you lend your child money for a car on the condition he or she returns to law school...does he or she have to go?