How much will you leave me?
In the real world, marriages break up and people die or become ill. Before you have to face such situations, you should know what you can count on financially to help you through the tough times.
If your spouse dies, what you'll get and how quickly you'll get it depends partly on how your assets are titled. You will gain immediate access to and full ownership of anything that you hold as joint tenants with right of survivorship - your house, probably, and perhaps most or all of your financial accounts.
Your spouse's share of anything that you own as tenants in common is distributed to heirs named in a will. But even if your spouse dies without a will or tries to cut you out of one, you'll still get a good portion of anything he owned since most states don't allow married people to disinherit each other.
Unless you have waived your right to it in writing, your spouse's 401(k) will also come to you, and you may be able to collect a death benefit too if your spouse was vested in a pension plan.
If your husband or wife named you as a beneficiary on life insurance policies or IRAs, you should receive those funds as well. But there's no requirement that a spouse be named as beneficiary on those accounts. So if your husband or wife spouse designated Aunt Mabel instead, you're likely out of luck.
Finally, if you have minor children, you can count on a little help from the government. Social Security provides survivors benefits to children under 18 and to spouses or exes caring for kids under 16.
Divorce is another story. Different states' laws vary wildly. But don't count on getting permanent alimony unless you've been out of the workplace for years raising children. Many courts nowadays are apt to award what's called rehabilitative alimony, a lump sum that's enough to allow you to retrain for a higher-paying job.
What property gets divided? Some states consider everything - "even Grandpa's antique roadster that he gave you before you were married," notes Barbara Glesner Fine, a law professor at the University of Missouri.
Other states include only property acquired during the marriage. A third batch take into account only assets the couple earned; gifts and inheritances are off limits. Those marital assets are then divided equally or "equitably," meaning that the court will weigh the length of the marriage, the ages of the partners, their earnings and other factors.
Effort counts too. Even if you made all the house payments, if your spouse spent every weekend rehabbing the place, he or she will get a share. To find out how your state divides property, consult a lawyer or search online for "divorce" and your state.
You may also be entitled to part of your soon-to-be-ex's 401(k). If the court awards it to you under what's called a qualified domestic relations order, you won't have to pay a 10% early-withdrawal penalty on the money, even if you and your spouse have not reached age 59½.
And if you were married for at least 10 years, you may be able to get Social Security benefits based on your ex's service when you turn 62, assuming you haven't remarried.
Maybe you'll never have to worry about who has the rights to the house, the stock options, the Picasso ashtray and the poodle. But it's better to know than not to know - just in case. In fact, your marriage may be all the stronger for it.
Are you prepared for a financial emergency?
With a recession and rising inflation, it's more crucial than ever to have a six to 12-month living-expense cushion in cash for an emergency. Don't have it? Drop us a line at makeover@moneymail.com. Include your name, age, city, state, marital status, occupation, how much you have in cash savings and retirement savings. Please send a photo of you (and your spouse, where applicable) too. 
