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Stanley Bing
Just a few ways to be profitably and pleasantly (if uselessly) employed, from Stanley Bing's book, "100 Bulls**t Jobs … and How to Get Them" (Harper Collins).
Industrial psychologist
Utilize principles of behavioral psychology at the behest of senior management to manipulate minds of unsuspecting employees.

$$: Corporate salary--not the top but not the bottom, either. If you can wrangle the gig into an executive vice president position in human resources, low seven figures is not impossible since you control compensation.

The upside: Able to turn perfectly serviceable workers into drooling zombies.

The downside: You turn into a skinny, tweedy old fart with hair everywhere but on your head.

The dark side: You are in league with the devil. This is not all bad, of course. That side eats more meat and less fish than the good guys.
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Tell us about your crazy boss
Is your boss heading for a self-made disaster? Scared of his own shadow? Just plain weird? Share your insane workplace story.
ExecutricksThe central question of every hardworking person's career is how to work less hard while still being able to buy an expensive bottle of wine without trembling. The answer is simple: Retire while still working! (more)

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Most stock quote data provided by BATS. Market indices are shown in real time, except for the DJIA, which is delayed by two minutes. All times are ET. Disclaimer.

Morningstar: © 2014 Morningstar, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Factset: FactSet Research Systems Inc. 2014. All rights reserved.

Chicago Mercantile Association: Certain market data is the property of Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved.

Dow Jones: The Dow Jones branded indices are proprietary to and are calculated, distributed and marketed by DJI Opco, a subsidiary of S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC and have been licensed for use to S&P Opco, LLC and CNN. Standard & Poor's and S&P are registered trademarks of Standard & Poor’s Financial Services LLC and Dow Jones is a registered trademark of Dow Jones Trademark Holdings LLC. All content of the Dow Jones branded indices © S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC 2014 and/or its affiliates.